You remember when you used to rag all the pretty juniors in college. You deliberately chose the ones with pretty face and perfect figure and then make them give you an intro. I remember the first time you stopped me. Do you?
We did an entire research paper together. The long hours in the library. The constant chatting. You teaching me how to footnote everything. How to write the paper in the most simplified language so that even a layman could make sense of what is written. I remember all the library sittings and the long phone and chat conversations for the research that we have done. Do you?
You were a disciplined and regular student. That is another story that you hardly studied for the college exams. But, despite of the entire B grade thing that we both ended up with in college, I always admired you. I loved the way you defended what you believed in. I remember the umpteen number of arguments that we had. Do you?
The gmail chats. Oh my god Rash. If somebody today reads them, how crazy he/she would think we were. Chatting the entire night. Making plans. Never having the money to execute them. How perfect those conversations were. You listened so intently. I spoke so freely in front of you. I remember that look on your face when you were so carefully making sense of everything I was saying. Do you?
The long walks. The bike rides. The sports complex adventures. DB Mall. Computer lab meetings. Exploring kaliyasaut. I remember the time when we fell off the bike. I can’t stop laughing thinking about it. Do you?
The annual foundation day. The ethnic wears. I used to eat your head so as to convince you to wear a kurta and come. You did in your fifth year. We have a picture together. The secret affair became official in the campus that say. When we uploaded the same picture on facebook. Do you remember people asking both of us about our relationship status? How smartly we used to leave them to decipher for themselves.
The annoying project submissions. The viva-voce. The twice in every three months exams. How we never stopped chatting. How we missed meeting each other because of the exam schedule. The college fests. Virudhaka. Athena. Rangmanch. Palchhin. Jam sessions. Showing you the all girls pictures. Telling you what all who all wore. Dressing up just as you liked. I remember you loved it when I used to put bindi. Do you?
Waiting for you so that I could watch that horror movie. How you used to tell me to close my eyes because the next scene was not shot for me to see. How you used to accompany me everywhere after I watched such movies because I used to be shit scared. I could watch all genres of movies with you. From mean girls to great debaters to movies like welcome. I could always count on you. I could be myself with you.
You remember when I cooked for you. The very first time. On my own without anybody’s help. How good it tasted. And you had it with so much love. I cooked the same recently, but it didn’t taste the same it did the last time.
Do you remember the poem I wrote for you. You remember the songs we used to sing together. You remember my favorite one? Abke sajan sawan mein 🙂
This and much more Rash. I don’t think I will ever be able to document what we had. What I had When I had you. When I look back to the half a decade spent in Bhopal. I see you and masi’s house. That’s all. My college life comprises of memories created with you. We did nothing extraordinary. Hell, I would have never gone to kerwa dam if not for you. But, still for me these were the most beautiful memories I could ever create. If I have to mention my college life, I have to mention you.
How and why we fell apart Rash? Was it my fault? I don’t know. Was it yours? No. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I know you won’t ask for any explanations. I know we are beyond that. And I know that in your heart you love me. I know the answer to the question that I asked you. I just wanted to hear it from you. You know just felt like romancing like we did during college times. You remember I used to tell you that by talking about other things, you are wasting the valuable time that we have got to romance with each other. Such innocent souls we were. Such pure love.
I know you will read this and you will feel a strong urge to call me. Believe me I fight that too. But, let’s settle down this time Rash. Decide for once and all that we are not going to get back together and keep it that ways. You know that if either of us breaks we will go back to square one and it would get much more harder for us. This way we could always keep the best of each other’s memories and never remember each other with any ill will. I would never want to remember you with anything else other than love and affection.
With lots and lots of love 🙂