You and a little bit of me :)

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Image from the facebook page of terribly tiny tales. No copyright infringement intended. Use of the picture is soley to explain the purpose of the post.

Image from the facebook page of terribly tiny tales. No copyright infringement intended. Use of the picture is soley to explain the purpose of the post.

You remember when you used to rag all the pretty juniors in college. You deliberately chose the ones with pretty face and perfect figure and then make them give you an intro. I remember the first time you stopped me. Do you?

We did an entire research paper together. The long hours in the library. The constant chatting. You teaching me how to footnote everything. How to write the paper in the most simplified language so that even a layman could make sense of what is written. I remember all the library sittings and the long phone and chat conversations for the research that we have done. Do you?

You were a disciplined and regular student. That is another story that you hardly studied for the college exams. But, despite of the entire B grade thing that we both ended up with in college, I always admired you. I loved the way you defended what you believed in. I remember the umpteen number of arguments that we had. Do you?

The gmail chats. Oh my god Rash. If somebody today reads them, how crazy he/she would think we were. Chatting the entire night. Making plans. Never having the money to execute them. How perfect those conversations were. You listened so intently. I spoke so freely in front of you. I remember that look on your face when you were so carefully making sense of everything I was saying. Do you?

The long walks. The bike rides. The sports complex adventures. DB Mall. Computer lab meetings. Exploring kaliyasaut. I remember the time when we fell off the bike. I can’t stop laughing thinking about it. Do you?

The annual foundation day. The ethnic wears. I used to eat your head so as to convince you to wear a kurta and come. You did in your fifth year. We have a picture together. The secret affair became official in the campus that say. When we uploaded the same picture on facebook. Do you remember people asking both of us about our relationship status? How smartly we used to leave them to decipher for themselves.

The annoying project submissions. The viva-voce. The twice in every three months exams. How we never stopped chatting. How we missed meeting each other because of the exam schedule. The college fests. Virudhaka. Athena. Rangmanch. Palchhin. Jam sessions. Showing you the all girls pictures. Telling you what all who all wore. Dressing up just as you liked. I remember you loved it when I used to put bindi. Do you?

Waiting for you so that I could watch that horror movie. How you used to tell me to close my eyes because the next scene was not shot for me to see. How you used to accompany me everywhere after I watched such movies because I used to be shit scared. I could watch all genres of movies with you. From mean girls to great debaters to movies like welcome. I could always count on you. I could be myself with you.

You remember when I cooked for you. The very first time. On my own without anybody’s help. How good it tasted. And you had it with so much love. I cooked the same recently, but it didn’t taste the same it did the last time.

Do you remember the poem I wrote for you. You remember the songs we used to sing together. You remember my favorite one? Β Abke sajan sawan mein πŸ™‚Β 

This and much more Rash. I don’t think I will ever be able to document what we had. What I had When I had you. When I look back to the half a decade spent in Bhopal. I see you and masi’s house. That’s all. My college life comprises of memories created with you. We did nothing extraordinary. Hell, I would have never gone to kerwa dam if not for you. But, still for me these were the most beautiful memories I could ever create. If I have to mention my college life, I have to mention you.

How and why we fell apart Rash? Was it my fault? I don’t know. Was it yours? No. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I know you won’t ask for any explanations. I know we are beyond that. And I know that in your heart you love me. I know the answer to the question that I asked you. I just wanted to hear it from you. You know just felt like romancing like we did during college times. You remember I used to tell you that by talking about other things, you are wasting the valuable time that we have got to romance with each other. Such innocent souls we were. Such pure love.

I know you will read this and you will feel a strong urge to call me. Believe me I fight that too. But, let’s settle down this time Rash. Decide for once and all that we are not going to get back together and keep it that ways. You know that if either of us breaks we will go back to square one and it would get much more harder for us. This way we could always keep the best of each other’s memories and never remember each other with any ill will. I would never want to remember you with anything else other than love and affection.

With lots and lots of love πŸ™‚
Nappy

To The One Last Time….

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I have 11 more days left for my college to end. I won’t say that it was an amazing journey or (maybe I haven’t realized it yet that it was indeed an amazing journey), but it was good.

Good enough to make me feel nostalgic that I won’t be back on this campus in the coming session. That sometime from now, my life will not involve dragging myself to class every morning (many times without bathing) as I used to get up 15 minutes before the class, but it will involve me to get up at 7, bathe, eat breakfast (never did in college), and go to office and do a 9 to 7 job. It won’t involve studying at last minute for the exams, but a perfect preparation of the case I am handling. It won’t involve not eating lunch but going to the canteen for maggie et al, but it will involve me to have lunch silently in a corner of the office pantry. It won’t involve celebrating birthdays at 12 midnight, but it will involve phone calls lasting 5-10 minutes, wishing birthday and no cutting (smudging) cake. It won’t involve asking for money from home whenever it fancies you, but it will involve taking care of your financials and even saving some of it. It won’t involve sleeping at random time, getting up at more weirder time and talking for long hours on phone, but it will involve sleeping at the right time, getting up at the right time and no midnight long hour phone conversations. I will no longer have the facility of going to the market in the college bus on thursday’s and sunday’s. No gossiping about recent break up’s, make-up’s, make-out’s, politics 😦

My batch got it’s farewell yesterday. Farewell is the final call that we are soon to leave this place. We wear saris, eat first, are treated like VIP’s and get a title with a description and a song dedicated to every single person from the final year batch. Till last year, we were organizing farewell for our seniors and it never ever occurred to me that the day I get my farewell, I will not be elated but I will feel like a big chunk of my life is being taken away from me. I always told Rash that I won’t miss this place. Except for the time when I was with him. But, I am not that sure now. I have always been in love with my college. Certainly, I do not appreciate some people here. But, that’s a permanent problem. You meet backstabbers and foolish people everywhere. So, instead of ranting about all the bad stuff I have seen here, I will try and keep memories of everything good and worth cherishing.

I love my campus. One cannot have a more beautiful campus. I uploaded my campus pictures here.

I love my hostel too. We have single occupancy rooms from 2nd year. And we have a pretty green garden in the middle of the hostel. Living in such nice rooms for 5 years, I doubt how will I adjust to the paying guest rooms of New Delhi.

Rash. Do I need to say more? I love him and I always will. And it was possible for us to meet only because of this college.

I love all the things that I have learnt from this college. Being a law student, we are taught to look at things a lot more differently than others. This place has polished my views on a lot of things and I am glad that I chose to be a lawyer.

Friends. This is a very tricky area for me specially when I have already written about that one person who matters to me the most and who coincidentally also belongs to this college. However, I would be selfish and ignorant not to write about the three females who made my life easier in this place. I owe you ladies. You guys were supportive, loving and fun. I love you all. And not to forget my one bad ass brother whom I love and adore to no lengths.

Whatever the experiences be, five years is a very long time to not fall in love with any place. I love this college and I will always come back to this place whenever I get a chance. Every friend of mine has told me that this time is never going to come back, so make the most out of it. I tried, but I don’t know if the memories I have are enough. If I have made the right memories. Will I again be able to be in love with another place in the same manner? (Will it be cheating on the love I have for my college?). I don’t know.

But, I do know that the friends I have made here are always going to be with me. Some of them in the same city and some others at different places. This time, I in all my sanity, vow to keep the right ones in my heart always. πŸ™‚

I am uploading the picture of the souvenir we got on our farewell yesterday night and the sari I wore.

The Sari I wore :D

The Sari I wore πŸ˜€

A diary with 5 years in brief :)

A diary with 5 years in brief on the cover πŸ™‚ We even got a pen with our names written on it πŸ™‚

Self high five :)

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Yesterday, which was 8th of September, 2013, I got a confirmed offer from a law firm. Which means that I got placed. Which means that I am relieved, happy and satisfied.

To be honest, I was not at all expecting to get placed. I thought my interview went badly. I was so sure that I was waiting the result to be out not expecting a miracle, but just to confirm that I am not selected and go to sleep. But then, the anxiety and helplessness was killing me. I couldn’t call Rash because he was in the middle of an exam. I couldn’t talk to my parents because I didn’t tell them about the interview. I didn’t want to tell my sister for the reason of breaking down in front of her. So, I went and talked to a friend who also sat for the same interview. She was anxious and scared too. We talked for 45 minutes. And it was everything not related to placements and that particular interview. And it was good. It was like temporarily taking the burden off our heads.

Then at the designated time, she checked her email. There was no new mail in the inbox. We both were waiting looking helplessly at each other and then another of my friend who also happened to sit for the same interview called me. I panicked, received the call and she said, “Madam, kaha ho? Ho gaya hai aapka.” And I asked her who else got through and she said it was the friend in whose room I was sitting, it was she herself and another one of my good friends and me. I disconnected the call, gave the friend in front of me a big bear hug, shouted at the top of my voice and hugged again. For the next 10 minutes, I did nothing but hugging every person I met, on the way back to my room. I was exhilarated, still am.

After all the surprise unfolded, I started calling people one by one. Momsy, Popsy, Gappa, Rash (his cell phone was out of reach), Badepapa, Mama-Mami and Pink. After two hours of continously trying to make a call, Rash’s phone rang. He was still in Metro, so the line was weak. I asked him how his paper went, where he is blah blah. Then, he asked me “result aa gaya?” I said “ha.” He said, “Kya hua?” I said, “Lag gayi.” And I know the surprise, the happiness and the joy that ran wild in his blood at that moment. πŸ™‚ Thank you for being there to listen to all my crying and ranting after the first interview. I know I don’t say this more often, but I am really grateful.

I wanted a job to happen as soon as possible, but never expected this wish to come true. I called Momsy, told her and regret that I couldn’t see her face glowing with that typical mom smile. I then called Popsy and he in his style said, “Waah badhiya” and then I called Gappa and told her. She got all happy and I imagined her with pride on her face. I still regret not breaking the news to the family in person. Bloody attendance !! 😦

So, after a whole lot of shouting, not believing, hugging and calling friends and family, I think the feeling has finally sunk in. Β And now I know, Happiness is bringing smile to the faces of those I love. πŸ™‚

After a month long break….!!

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No wait, actually it is one month and 20 days. But, I could not find a more suitable title.

My last post said that I am in love with Delhi. I surely am. I hope this love survives the battle of time.

Anyways, I was gone but I kept on reading posts and liking them.

I now feel I was kind of acting like a zombie in the past one month, I did nothing. Nothing at all. I came back to college. It is raining here in Bhopal and the city has turned amazingly and soothingly beautiful. Those of you who have visited Bhopal during monsoons would know.

This is my final year. The year where you get placed, go out on trips with friends (the one where you click pictures, take vows to be friends forever, upload the pictures on facebook and forget all about it in a year or two) and try and not fight with people around you as it is your last year. You can afford to behave, because as rude as it sounds you will never have to meet those stupid faces ever again.

I am trying to get a job. But, the funny part is there are no companies/law firms/PSU’s who are ready to come to campus to recruit. I am all ready. Trust me. I even bought a pretty white formal shirt to wear on the day some firm decides to land on our campus. I know the reasons, I know all of them. Bad economy blah blah !! I am hopeful and positive.

I get this sudden feeling sometimes that what will I do after the college gets over. This place has given me so much. I just wish to return all that I owe to the institution. But, ironically, I am somewhere happy that it is going to get over. Atleast, I can be with people I like to be. People who can talk sense, people who use brains and people who have the maturity to think beyond what they want in life. It was love at first sight when I entered this University, I now realise it was never because of the people here that I would want to come back, it will always be the sense of pride, the power of knowledge and the values that this place taught me to uphold that I will always be in love with my college.

I read yesterday that some 10-12 people in Bihar tried to stop an express train and got killed in the process. I mean seriously?? :-/ And then when the train stopped, people attacked the driver. What on earth is wrong with Indian people? We haven’t fully evolved or we have just shut down the working side of the brain because the expenses involved are too much for this poverty stricken country to bear.

Momsy and Popsy are the best parents. I have recently observed that they have started including me in discussions (the serious ones !!) at home. Be it anything, apart from gappa’s opinion being taken they also listen to me πŸ˜€

I have also decided that five years from today, I will adopt a girl child. I am not sure if my plans work as they are supposed to, but this is one thing I want to do, no matter how old I am. If the kid doesn’t already has a name, I will name her Tamanna.

I read this on facebook, “People usually have a family trees, mine is a cactus full of pricks.” How true !! πŸ˜‰

I will try and posts more regularly from now on. Happy Monsoons !! πŸ™‚

This is the garden inside the girl's hostel. That's me in the middle :)

This is the garden inside the girl’s hostel. That’s me in the middle πŸ™‚

View from the Library.

View from the Library.

The lake behind the college during monsoons :)

The lake behind the college during monsoons πŸ™‚

Green Green Campus :)

Green Green Campus πŸ™‚

To interning and Cooking again…!!!

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So here I am in New Delhi, interning again at the end of my fourth year. I so hope and pray that this be my last internship, and I don’t have to intern again after this. I am basically done with internships. After my first year, first vacation, I haven’t spend more than a week at home. I so want those blissful, no-work-to-do days back, at least for sometime. And, then there is Pink’s wedding coming up next in November. Yeah, that requires another post.

So coming back to the full of heat and go-to-work days, I am putting up with a friend in New Delhi. I met her on my first internship in New Delhi itself and we shared the same room in a paying guest house. We became friends then, I borrowed and read Β Amitav Ghosh from her. I never knew then, that we would become such good friends. I am glad we are. She is the sober side of me. I really like her a lot.

So here at her flat, the friend and her roomie cook breakfast, lunch and dinner by themselves, When she offered me to shift with her, my first and foremost concern was how will I cook three times a day? I mean I just can’t do that. Cooking is not my cup of tea. Momsy was also worried that if I shift with the friend, I wouldn’t cook and who will take care of my food and what if I stay empty-stomach for the lack of culinary skills. But then, I thought I have never stayed at a flat like with friends and this might be my last internship and maybe it is the last time I am coming to New Delhi. So, I decided against my fears and shifted with her.

It has been 2 days and it is going pretty well. But, honestly I am really worried how the whole month would be? I will also come to know if Β I am the order-food-daily types woman. Which I assume I am not.

The office is decent. The partners also seem to be good and friendly. I even have two co-interns to keep me company. The office timings are great. 10:00-10:15 in the morning and I have to stay till 7 PM. I guess it is okay since I am living just 1.5 kms away from my office. I was a total ass on the first day as without asking the office timings I reached the office at 9’O clock sharp in the morning. Then, waited for office people to come for one and a half hour. This all waiting for the office to open and waiting for the partner to give me work made me feel helpless. I do not like waiting. In fact I hate it. Tomorrow is Saturday and I can wear casuals. Isn’t that great? πŸ˜€

I am hopeful that these two months turn out to be, if not great at least decent and normal.

 

 

5th Year…!!!

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When I took admission in my college, I presumed that 5 years is a very long time. I will have a lot of time to read, write, learn, research, make new friends, fall in love. In a nutshell, I thought that I have ample of time to do all what I have wanted to do after I join college.

College during monsoons.

College during monsoons.

Year after year, trimester by trimester nothing seemed to change. It became the monotonous boring and dull college life I always dreaded. I used to go home in between but now I realise I always wanted to come back to my hostel, to my room. There was a bit of uneasiness at home because I knew I don’t have to live there anymore. My real home is my room. Room No. 58.

Whenever I saw my seniors crying or getting sentimental about leaving college. I used to think “why do they make such a big deal out of it?” I mean before joining the college, didn’t these people know that it is going to end someday. But now I realize that after 5 years we actually breathe this place. It is inside us. The things it taught, the incidents that made us what we are today and the hope that this place provides that no matter whatever happens, no matter how tough the going gets, it will always embrace us and cajole us and it will always be there for us.

The college is located at such a pretty place, one can never have enough of it. I mean who has got an entire reserved forest just behind one’s college. And a serene lake to top that. Lush green trees on both sides of the road, beautiful

The lake. It is just a 10 minute walk from the campus.

The lake. It is just a 10 minute walk from the campus.

chirping birds, fishes in the lake, sunsets, sunrise, the caution board stating that a tiger is wandering in the area, enter at your own risk, the hot tea cups near the lake, the peaceful morning walks, rain that makes you feel all romantic even if you broke up recently….only this place has the magic to make you fall in love with even grasshoppers and a whole lot of insect families πŸ˜›

Just one more year is left for my college life. I don’t know how am I going to live at a different place, with a different bunch of people. To start all over is never bad, but then who doesn’t want the journey to continue, to go on. I have no clue about my destination after these 5 years, whatever it maybe good or bad, but I am very sure that the journey was definitely worth the risk of dropping a year after school, of making new friends, of confiding in strangers, of falling in love and of possessing the feeling that I belong to this place. This place I call my college, this place I am in love with, this place which changed my perspective over a lot of things, this place….I will miss. πŸ˜€

Campus at night

Campus at night

A Closer look at the lake.

A Closer look at the lake.

It joins the library from the academic block. The Skywalk.

It joins the library from the academic block. The Skywalk.

Library from the inside.

Library from the inside

Academic Block

Academic Block

Library

Library

Help!!

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Phew!!!

I narrowly passed two papers of my last trimester. Two more are to be shown and one is going to be shown tomorrow. And I am very sure I am going to flunk. I am a commerce student and the paper to be shown tomorrow is accounts. And yes I am going to flunk accounts after teaching the same subject to four people around me with science background. By the way one of those four people scored highest in the class. Irony of life and hats off to my teaching skills.Β 

But, it’s going to be such a shameful situation if I fail in the subject I studied in school for two years straight and the fact that I taught it to other people makes me feel so ridiculous and embarrassed at my own intelligence (I even doubt if I have any).Β 

God, please do something. I need only passing marks. I don’t want to score good. But, no repeats. They charge Rs.300 (don’t laugh, I am still a student) for each repeat. I don’t want to pay the greedy administration. I promise I will study like anything from this trimester. Please save me, this one last time. Momsy would be so horrified if I fail. Popsy would be so disappointed. And Gappa, I don’t know she is going to visit me the coming sunday, she will throw me out of my own room and I don’t know maybe disown me.Β 

I won’t abuse anybody, I won’t pray that my ex is eaten up by some dinosaur like creature or worse murdered by me, I will start writing some paper related to academics, no more facebooking. Just save me please 😦 😦