Letter to Dost- 4

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You turned 23 on 21st of October this year. I remember how I used to tease you that I am 5 months older than you. Sometimes, I wonder if this getting older day by day is making us any wiser? What do you think?

If you ask me, I personally think that it is still a very slow process for me, both learning and letting go. I still can’t let people just tread over things, but if not learning atleast I have started acknowledging the harder way of life. I missed you on your birthday. Though I only messaged you and did not call you. I feel very nervous to call you. I don’t know why.

You remember when you came to Bhopal and it was India versus Pakistan match the same day. All the girls in my hostel were drooling over the fact that you are coming to meet me instead of watching the match. I didn’t quite understand the awww’s then. I understand them now. But then, I still don’t think that either of us will give preference to any other stuff when it comes to me for you and you for me. Why the hell would you watch a match rather than meeting me? šŸ˜®

It is just 6 more months left dost. I will be in Delhi after that. I know after bhaiya shifted to Mumbai, you do not come to Delhi that frequently. I wonder what it would be like after the college. I wonder if we can still go together and roam around the city, the way we used to do in Bhopal. I know all that is not happening. I also wonder sometimes if you still have that calendar card I made for you. I want you to know that I still have everything you gave me. The miss you cards, the birthday cards, the good luck cards, the usual cards, the friendship cards etc etc etc. I also have that rose you got for me on your last visit to Bhopal.

You know it is difficult to have that level of understanding with people, the way I had it with you. On one hand I am glad, I had it with you and nobody else. I wouldn’t have it any other way. On the other hand, I am amazed how little do I know about people I continuously interact with. It is like after college is over, it will be like I never knew these people. They never existed. But, it will never be the same with you. Right?

It has been more than a year since we had a proper conversation. I still know that you are the first person I think of if I am happy or sad. I never felt that when we stopped talking it was for good. I also never felt that you are far away from me or that I can never reach you if we do not talk. I cannot ever feel like that. I know you are here. I know you will always be. And you know that I will always be. No matter what, no matter how.

Happy Birthday bacha !! šŸ™‚ You are my strength and everything.

Love.

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